Just A Thought
In 2008 I was driving my then 3-year-old daughter to an eye doctor appointment. We lived in Brigham City, UT at the time and the appointment was at the University of Utah Hospital in Salt Lake City - a one hour and 15 minute drive away from our home. I left with plenty of time to get to the appointment on time. However, as I traveled south on I-15, I encountered some slow traffic in the Layton area. My initial reaction was a deep sigh and some eye rolling. But very quickly I started to be annoyed. Police began diverting cars off the freeway and eventually all lanes of traffic, both north and south bound, closed. And then I found myself first in line behind a few police cars stopping all vehicle movement as a helicopter landed on the freeway - far enough away that I could not see what was going on. There was obviously a very bad accident. I knew that there was no way I was going to get my daughter to her doctor appointment in any kind of timeliness. My feeling of annoyance turned to frustration, and then anger at the delay. I assumed that wreckless or distracted driving - perhaps a cell phone - had been the cause of the accident. My thoughts were very self-centered, worrying about missing the eye doctor appointment, the inconvenience of being stuck on the freeway, and what to do with a small child trapped in a mini van with little to do. I confess I didn’t feel much compassion for the victims. I didn’t even really think about them at all.
I had no cell phone at that time, but saw in my rear view mirror that the person behind me was on a phone. So, I got out of my vehicle and went to ask that person if I could borrow their phone to make the necessary phone calls. I alerted the doctor’s office that I would not be arriving, and I called neighbors to ask them if they could help out with other children after school. An hour passed. My frustration and anger turned to desperation as my 3-year-old was complaining of needing to use the potty. Fortunately I had a bucket in the back of the van, but the additional hours of sitting on the freeway were beginning to require more than just a little girl who needed a bathroom.
Finally, after the helicopter took off, the police escorted us slowly passed the accident scene. What I saw changed me. There was a partly smashed and mostly destroyed car skewered front to back with the biggest piece of re-bar I had ever seen. There was a broken car seat and baby toys on the side of the freeway. A purse or diaper bag and its contents were scattered on the side of the road. There was no other vehicle involved. What it looked like was that a woman with at least one child, a baby, was driving southbound on I-15, and a large vehicle with huge parts for construction lost a piece of rebar from the load which impacted the woman’s car. Obviously the driver of the vehicle carrying the re-bar was completely unaffected - as it was no where to be seen. But the other car and its occupants’ lives were changed in the blink of an eye. My emotions instantly turned from frustration and annoyance and anger and desperation, to horror, sorrow, compassion, and love.
What changed? Was it the circumstance? No - there was definitely a traffic accident. A helicopter had definitely landed on the freeway to transport the victims to the hospital. The freeway had been closed for several hours. And we had missed a doctor appointment. The thing that changed was the thoughts I was thinking.
Because I was able to see the situation as I drove past, I learned and understood facts I did not know during the hours I sat on the freeway. I gained a new perspective. My own thoughts about the circumstance changed, and because of that, so did the emotions I was having about it. Because my emotions changed, my reaction to the situation was much different than it would have been if I had remained in anger and frustration and desperation. I drove to the eye doctor’s office as they had invited me to come anyway and see if they could squeeze my daughter in. When I got there, they had heard about the accident. The victims had been flown to the same hospital I was taking my daughter to. My daughter’s eye doctor and staff were very understanding of our situation and they were able to fit us in for a very quick appointment covering the concerns I had. While the schedule of my day was affected by the delays, I was not. The result of my day was that I was patient with the doctor and staff, I was able to be calm with my 3-year-old and my other children later in the day, I was able to adjust to the scheduling delays without stress and frustration, and I felt compassion for the victims and prayed for them and the staff at the hospital who were caring for them.
We all have circumstances that we experience - they are facts that are beyond our control. How those circumstances affect us is completely within our own power - the power of what we think.
Just a thought.
-Stephanie
